[graves]

Originally Posted by Clover

A flash of a future she could have had whipped through her mind. Mistfall by her side, helping her to train and learn to become a warrior, no matter how much she disliked fighting and hurting others. Somehow, kits; a family of her own. She could've, in her spare time, helped Juniper learn how to heal. But, forefront in her mind, was Daydream. Daydream was in every scene; Daydream would help deliver her kits, Daydream would spar with her, Daydream would teach Juniperpaw right alongside her.

But of course, that was a daydream in and of itself. For her to live, StarClan would have to grant her a miracle. It wasn't that miracles didn't happen; Geckoleaf knew that they did. But it was that she already had hers, golden and glowing, right here with her.

"Tell Mistfall I love her; really, really love her... tell Juni... tell her..."she paused, gasping for breath, her sides shaking violently. "tell her that she's her own being..." Another spasm ran down her sides, musles trying desperately to get in another death.

"Daydream... you'll do great things. You'll be more than I ever was. I want... want so badly... to live for you... live with you... treat yourself well, my sunshine..."

A pause. She could feel herself slipping, her body giving up, pain burning her sides and throat. But she pushed herself, locking eyes with her child, her kitten, her only, and just stared, wishing she had more time. It shouldn't have been like this; and she knew that in some other universe, it wasn't. She was healthy and happy and rejoicing to be reunited with her family. But apparently, luck didn't favor the old.

"I love you."

It happened so fast. A flash of golden light, a scent of sweet, herb-laced fur, and then stillness.

she was gone. their everything.

they had nothing now.

they stood still, looking into her tired blue orbs until they watched them fade of their color, watching how the life drained out of them within seconds. they sobbed. they sobbed loud. they scream and heaved, their lungs felt like they were burning. they let tears roll down their scarred cheeks. they let their body shake with emotions and air, desperately trying to fill in the emptiness with oxygen but failing over and over. they had nothing. they were suddenly aware of how quiet the forest was. how the snow seemed to fall so silently. how the leaves rustled in the bitter wind. they were alone.

they couldve done something to prevent this. they couldve yelled at fallenstar to send a search party. she was beaten and starving a lone while they got to sleep in their warm nest for moons, she was out struggling to survive while they were trying to be happy. but they were never happy when she wasnt around. she had been the only thing that kept them going. they healed without feeling, they placed herbs on sick bodies without emotions, like some sort of robot. doing the same thing over, and over, and over again. life seemed pointless before her. because why not treat other cats when you couldnt treat yourself? why not help othe rpeople when you cant help yourself? when you accept that you are nothing than starclans little toy, to poke pins and needles into. but then geckoleaf came into their life. she had given them life, given them meaning. they saw colors, they felt emotions. they even grew softer and affectionate towards some. they started to sleep better, even with her next to them. but now the only thing next to them was a good body.

"L..lilly poultice..r-rose petals..cham-" they choked out, trying to recite what she had told them, taught them. those were herbs used for burials. they would have to bury her. they would have to let her sink into the ground, only to be brought up to starclan of all places. they were going back to what they knew, herbs. they went over what they couldve used to help her, heal her. but there was no leaf, root, or flower in the forest that couldve prevented what happened. they let her limp body rest againt theirs for long moments, letting out puffs of breath that they could see. they felt so..so cold. they would stay here for aslong as they needed to. this time, they leaned down and started to groom her cold, dismantled fur as she once had.

Originally Posted by yummyluc

marshfur hadn't noticed it earlier, but as the monster crept back up into her shoulder, she felt a chill wash over her. she had been so warm, with anger or gratefulness, she couldn't tell. the cold wasn't passing, it swallowed her whole and stretched down to her paws. she began to feel numb. an aura of calm followed her, but it wasn't a good kind of calm. it was how the air felt so still before a storm that brought down trees rained down. marshfur was suddenly caged in again, walls invisible yet so thick she could only hear her own heartbeat. there was no swaying of the trees, no crunch of the frozen grass, not even the sound of daydream walking in front of her. there was nothing here. there were no trees, there were no other cats, there was no environment here. it was barren, dry, and deserted. here, in her mind, in this cage. there was nothing, no one. in here, it was her and the shadow. in here, it was everyone she had lost. hazelpaw. russetfur. her mother and her father. all mixed together and congealed into this monster that looked down at her and chained her up. that closed her off, that held her back from being her again. deep down, she could feel it. her old self. it writhed and it screamed and it cried to be free again. but it was so repressed and drowned out by marshfur's failures that she couldn't hear anything but a faint buzz that might be its voice. she had tunnel vision, robotic once again, and all she could see were daydream's backpaws as she continued to follow them deeper into the territory. she wasn't empty, but what filled her throat and kept a tight rope around her neck wasn't what she wanted to be filled with. she wanted to be empty again. could daydream help with that?

it was silent. too silent. they looked behind them towards marshfur, eyes glazing and taking in her features. something had changed mentally. her mind was swirling and daydream didnt know what with, and thats what scared them. it was the same look in the clearing. they had studied emotions of cats, and how to heal them not just physically, but mentally. "Stop thinking." they said simply. they didnt know what she was thinking about, but they could grasp. they caught into little things. the way her eye brows furrowed, her tail lashed. it showed she was showing emotion. but now,,there was nothing.just like in the clearing. was she telling herself to push them away? what they said and to not think anymore? well, daydream was stubborn, and so was whatever marshfur was dealing with. they held their stance and gaze for lingering moments before turning back around and kept walking, closer to her this time.