[lone]

Originally Posted by Mauve

All he wanted was to know that despite their different homes now, at least some or the original friendship still resonated with Kestrelpaw. After all, despite the divide that separated them, he cared for her. She had been one of his first friends, and Jaypaw could only imagine how hard it must've been to learn that he decided to return her favor by leaving the Clan. There was so much he wanted to say, so much that he wanted her to know, but for now he held his tongue. "Me too," he replied softly, fighting against his will to keep his gaze locked with hers. He might not have been able to say all the things on his mind, but perhaps they had gotten to know each other well enough that the ThunderClan she-cat would be able to see just how much he missed her by reading the tiny flickering flames in the depths of his eyes.

Watching her demeanor completely change as he asked about her warrior ceremony, Jaypaw felt his heart do a little flip. It made him happy to see a smile on her face in place of an uncomfortable frown. She'll make one of the best warriors in ThunderClan, he thought to himself as he grinned, watching her talk rather fast and eager about the upcoming ordeal. He was a few moons off from his own warrior ceremony, perhaps even longer with having to prove his loyalty to his new Clan over and over. Jaypaw was well aware of Blazingstar's attention upon him; being an apprentice still fresh from ThunderClan and wanting to train in WindClan was no small passing, and he was sure the leader had taken much grief over allowing him sanctuary within Windclan.

"Eh, mostly my mentor and a pawful of the other apprentices," Jaypaw mewed, shrugging his shoulders and casting his gaze to the ground. "Most of them are just waiting for me to slip up, or go back. But I think with enough time they'll learn that my loyalties lie with them now. I hope." It was all the young tom could do; hope. He knew he couldn't force his new Clanmates to like him or trust him anymore than he could force his paws to run further when they were already exhausted. The apprentice knew he just had to keep his head down, stay out of trouble, and put in hard work and effort to obtain the status his father had in the Clan; a strong, loyal warrior who would give his life for WindClan.

Despite this façade of her earlier excitement, he assumed she was probably nervous as well about her upcoming warrior ceremony.. Without thinking much, he reached across the border and batted her playfully on the shoulder with one paw, the way he used to when they were both apprentices back in ThunderClan. "Hey, you'll do great as a ThunderClan warrior," he reassured her, nodding his gray head as he spoke. Placing his paw back on the ground, not a single look of regret or embarrassment crossed his face as he shrugged. "Plus, if they don't, you'll have to tell me about it at the Gathering. I wanna hear about the great Kestrelpaw tripping on her way to receive her warrior name." A chuckle followed his statement, and his pale yellow eyes glimmered with humor.

"Oh, aren't you just a bundle of laughs?" The she cat grumbled, shaking her head a little as she tried not to smile at Jaypaw's comment. But something he had said before bothered her. How could his loyalties truly lie with WindClan? The Clan had killed a ThunderClan warrior, or at least a couple of warriors from there had. They had refused to take responsibility for it. Kestrelpaw was beginning to hate anything to do with the rabbit-chasers, but Jaypaw was her best friend - and she couldn't just ignore him. Still, she wanted to know how he could stand there and tell her that he wanted his loyalty to lie with this Clan. He had a lot going for him in ThunderClan still... he had her, and she was sure he had other friends there! Kestrelpaw hadn't been very connected with friends of friends, but she was pretty sure she'd met at least.. at least a couple! And besides, the transition to another Clan couldn't be easy.

There were bound to be cats who thought he didn't belong there (much as Kestrelpaw did) and there were bound to be cats who would treat him badly. At least here, she could have told the bullies to back off her friend. There? She had no control over what others might do or say, and she had even less control over what they wanted to do to him. She couldn't tell him when a she cat was bad for him, or when some flirtatious, evil, slim feline might catch his attention and drag him far away, intrigued by the possibilities that the tom could hold. No - Kestrelpaw was not crushing on the former ThunderClanner, but she was worried about him. Her brother was a flirt. She knew what they could do to other cats. She knew the danger that fancy words and sweet looks could hold, and she knew the dangers of falling in love.

Besides, what would happen if Jaypaw changed his mind (as he was bound to do) and decided to move back to ThunderClan? What then, would they be star-crossed lovers? Kept apart by the boundary between the two Clans? Or worse, would they run away together? That possibility was a bad one, and Kestrelpaw made a mental note to ask him about any love he had in his life later on. Just to make sure that whoever it was was going to be good for him. "What about you? When do you think they'll accept you... and is that when you'll be made a warrior?" Kestrelpaw knew that ThunderClan would take him back in an instant. Oh yes, Snowstar would be understanding about that... especially if he made her understand that his loyalties had always been with ThunderClan. He'd just been distracted by a pretty, shiny possibility for a while, and it had taken him a moment to realize that his loyalties could never really lie with that Clan.

Kestrelpaw might accept Jaypaw for who he was, she liked him, and they got along - but she would never accept this decision. She would never believe that he was gone forever, a WindClanner in mind and in heart, and that ThunderClan was no longer his home. For her, once you were a part of the strongest Clan, you could never go back. You would always be a part of them. Kestrelpaw thought about Jaypaw sometimes, whenever she heard about the news with WindClan... with war brewing, was Jaypaw going to be safe? And, would she be safe? Hopefully the tom had at least had the sense to keep his maw shut about her and his other friends in ThunderClan. Otherwise, they would be the ones targeted - if the stupid fluff-brains could recognize them from the description Jaypaw had given.