Quote:
Originally Posted by Empress Of Evil
The ebony feline hesitated at the entrance of the leader's den. She hadn't been invited into his den, but Auroraflame wanted to enter anyway. She had noticed how Grousestar had changed in the past couple of moons. Being on camp arrest meant that she had had a lot of time to think and observe her surroundings. One of the many things she had noticed was the change in SkyClan's leader. The brown tabby had once been so cheerful and happy, but now he was distant and lacked that same happy energy. Auroraflame wanted to check on him. Even if she had betrayed him before, she was back and wanted to prove that he could absolutely trust her. She wanted to help him get through whatever it was that was making him struggle.
"Grousestar?" She called when she finally gained enough courage to push her way into the den. "Are you alright?" She managed to push her way just in time to hear the leader hiss to himself. Maybe he hadn't seen her yet. After all, her inky black pelt really helped her to blend in with the darkness of the den. Her icy blue eyes were trained on the leader as he sat up and sighed. "It's me. Auroraflame," she started, a little hesitant to talk. It didn't seem like he was doing alright. Auroraflame could relate. She had just spent the last few moons moping about, feeling like she was worth nothing and just not good enough for anyone. But she had gotten over it eventually, and so would he. Hopefully she would be able to help him through it quicker. SkyClan needed their leader to be strong, else they could very easily fall apart.
She wondered what it was that was bothering him. Maybe it was the stress of the last battle. But that had already passed. Why bother worrying about a battle that had already been fought? Was it her? Was this her fault as well? Had her betrayal stressed him out so much that now he didn't want to trust anyone? Well, she wouldn't know the answer unless she asked.
"What's wrong? I've noticed you've been a little different these past moons," she said in a gentle tone, as she settled down a reasonable distance from the nest. "I know that you may not trust me fully after what I did, but I'm willing to listen if you want to say anything. You don't have to carry your burdens alone," she said. Keeping things all to themselves would never do any good. Sometimes it was alright, but eventually it would tear them apart. Some weights were too heavy to be carried alone, and the pressure had to be shared. |
Shortly after he sat up in his nest, he heard a voice call his name from the entrance, a voice he didn't particularly want to hear from at the moment. You don't deserve to know. His mind thought angrily at her question, but he would say nothing, only hang his head and turn his gaze away. She let herself into his den, but Grousestar couldn't bring himself to send her away. Even in this dark time he couldn't find himself to be brash and rude against the clan he at one point loved. Do you still love them? Aggressively he would shake his head and sink his claws into his nest. He didn't need to think like that, he was their leader after all! A leader should never think thoughts like that, if a leader has any doubt about their love for their clan, then they are not fit to lead.
"I know who it is." His voice sounded oddly cold, matching the interior of the den. Slowly, he would force himself to lay back down, even if he was tense and didn't particularly want to.
The deputy settled herself a small distance from his nest, and quietly the brown tabby was thankful. Because he didn't fully trust her and even her presence in his den currently sent confusion and anger through him. He still saw her as a betraying cat, even if her cause was well intended. He still focused heavily on the fact that she would ally with cats from other clans without telling him, and then, to find out that, whether influenced by her or not, there were others in Skyclan that were ready to turn against him and their clanmates should they not agree with how he leads. That's not how a clan should run, and it would have never happened if they had just stayed in the mountains.
"There are a lot of things wrong Auroraflame." The tone was low, brimming with a mixture of emotions that Grousestar held bottled up inside. There was a dull glint in his eye, but he would not look at her, instead focusing somewhere around her paws. "And you're right. I don't trust you. I'm not even sure if I can trust my own clan anymore. I can't trust myself. My decisions. My own mind."
Grousestar's claws would knead his bedding angrily before he forced himself to stop with a shudder. There was so much bottled emotions, it was dangerous territory. "You wouldn't know anything of the burdens I carry, the weight of my decisions. It's easy for you to say if something is wrong or right because you don't have the entirety of a clan upon your back. And it's easy for them to do the same because they don't have any idea of what it's like. It was a mistake to bring Skyclan to this place. These clans have done nothing but corrupt our once peaceful clan, and break me down into a cat that was nothing like the cat I was before." His voice was as sharp and cold as an icicle. It was so terrifyingly different than the cat he was moons before. And yet, it was more as if he was talking to himself than at her. Perhaps he imagined he was talking to himself to make it easier.