[doghouse]

Originally Posted by Ever

Ash's expression broke a little as she watched the emotions sweep through the youngster. It hurt her to know that she was in so much pain because of herself, the dark tabby knew all of this was her fault. She wasn't sure if it would be appropriate to become her mother after all this time, surely the clan would not approve either and she didn't want to give Tawnypaw less chance at a successful life, despite her hatred for the current leader. Though she couldn't just sit back and watch as her child broke down in front of her without offering some form of comfort. Her sole black paw reached out and the back of it gently wiped at one damp cheek.

"You were all better off this way." She admitted sadly. Ash had never wanted to be a mother, hadn't asked for the role. She never would have provided them with what they truly needed, that was Burdockpool's job. She would have simply been the rule giver and created mini versions of herself,
which wouldn't have been good for any of them. They probably wouldn't understand, nor would the kits want to, but truly her being dead and away from them was for the better. They would never have loved her, probably would have learned to despise her rules and attitude. Her constant hunger for power and her fear and constant anxiety surrounding the past King.

Tawnypaw tried to hide her thoughts as she usually did. With her Clan pushing her away, she had learned to do it with ease, but why now? Why had it suddenly become so difficult? She dug her claws into the ground, her fur standing up now. She couldn't control it anymore, and for just a moment, her anger entered her gaze again, before leaving her. She shifted, her legs trembling. She didn't want her mother to see her crying, but she couldn't help it, and so, she stood crying silently, her eyes full of mainly confusion. As Blazingnight brushed a black paw under her eye, she flinched, pulling away. It wasn't because of Blazingnight, but because of reflexes, since whenever a Clanmate got that close to her, they usually meant her harm.

Tawnypaw shook her head, stepping back slightly, her eyes narrowed. “No,
we weren't. Without you, we're better off without a Clan.” she said, realizing for the first time that a small amount of her anger was directed at Blazingnight, if only for leaving her and her littermates. She sighed, clearing her head. Her mother couldn't help that she'd died, and no one else could either, but then Burdockpool had vanished. That she somewhat blamed on him. She flattened her ears. “You died, and Burdockpool left us alone in a Clan that hates us. We're not better off without you.” she said, then closed her mouth, teeth clicking as she did. Blazingnight was wrong, she and her littermates weren't better without Blazingnight.