[New Adventures]

Name:
Coldstripe/Romanheart
Rank:
Senior Warrior/ Maybe deputy?
Gender:
Tom/Tom
Age:
72/72 moons
Parents:
Flatface and Orangetree (Both dead)
Siblings:
Brokenvoice(Dead), Coldstripe, and Romanheart
Mate:
Open for both
Kits:
Open, although Coldstripe would be very salty about adopting/having kits
Personality:
A cold, unloyal, strict, sarcastically polite, challenging to get along with, snarky son of a fox, Ambitious, determined, loyal, somewhat charming, can be cold at times, forgetful, hates eating/using herbs (and often gets dangerously sick at times due to this), savagely thankful, often quick witted, over protective of the clan, rest will develop.
Looks:
Coldstripe is a fluffy silver classic tabby with blue eyes, while Romanheart is a frail skinny and sickly white tom with a fluffy tail and green eyes
Other:
Here's an rp example from an actual roleplay I participate in (Silverclan and Blazeclan):
Burredheart awoke with a jerk, his tired, ambitious, amber eyes drooping. The deputy yawned, his large paws sliding into a luxurious stretch, all of his glistening teeth showing. The large, powerful tom flicked his ears, sitting up. Burredheart folded his paws, his whiskers twitching. He waved his tail in the air, his brown masked face's features twisting into a somewhat thoughtful glare. The senior warrior and deputy of Blazeclan curled his tail around his paws and peered out of the den, his eyes narrowed. The hungry tom's eyes weren't as good as they were when he was an apprentice, and even then his vision wasn't all that great. He trotted out of the den, licking his lips as he neared the Fresh Kill Pile. Burredheart grabbed a plump hare, hoping somecat would share it with him. He felt as if he had slept for days, and hoped somecat had some news that might get his mind up and running. { Also, Romanheart is currently very sick, not yet telling anycat, but most cats suspect he is sick anyway. It's very obvious. }
Questions?:
Is Romanheart too unbelievable?