| Lightningpaw |
Flock Together [Tier 2] - Active
The embrace was a comfort. A warmth she rarely admitted to wanting but desperately craving. After having been shunned by her family, abandoned by her friends, and having her own doubts consistently creep over her and beat her down to a self loathing mess every night it was almost a need. To have someone just let her know that she was seen. Wanted even. Belonged. It went against her wishes. Against the logical side of her that stated the truth. That she had accepted this task, this job, to climb out of the darkness. To pay back for her sins. She wasn't here for company or friendship - she deserved none - but for penance.
And yet a small, kittenish side of her, the one that had been denied from the moment she'd claimed blame for Featherfoot's death cried out for that affection. It mewled pitifully for her mother, promising to be a better daughter if only to have some of that warmth back. Hoping to be worthy of Gingerheart's love again. It wasn't her mother who'd brought that feeling of safety and belonging, but it made him family no less. He'd always been there for her, even when she was a kit. Even when she had cost someone else her life. When she had made such an atrocious mistake in the battlefield for what he claimed was a good thing. For what he claimed was having heart. Figured... for as much as she complained about the warriors of this clan, she apparently just cared too bloody much.
Lightningpaw kept her mask carefully in place. It was clear it had fallen for too long. That the medicine cat had seen through the cracks of her meticulously placed impish personality. Yet she couldn't bring herself to focus on that. If it stopped the tom from becoming concerned, from worrying for her well being, if only for a little bit, then it was worth it. It was the least she could do for him, after everything he did for her.
At his words, she accepted his gentle pawing of her ear, her grin only growing as she cocked her head to the side with the air of one deep in thought.
"Be nice to myself? Hmmm... I can certainly try, but I'll warn you right now. It's not me who's going to be making burrow revisions once I get too big a head to walk to my nest, ya hear?" she joked, her voice a light purr as she got up, eager to do something - anything - to change the mood. To make sure she was no longer the center of Cowtuft's attention.
"Which reminds me... I best check up on the herbs we do have left. We've been rushing left and right so much, there's bound to be a bloody mess down there, innit? Won't be able to sleep until that's sorted out, either. The thought of all those herbs just misplaced... gonna bring nightmares is what it's going to do. I'll go check 'em out, don't you worry your handsome face none, love," the lithe calico mewed in a chipper voice, bounding off to the herb storage as swiftly as she could. With any luck, Cowtuft would be just satisfied enough that she was alright to let it pass... just this once, in any case. She'd be more careful in the future, she'd make sure of that.
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xX ghostie Xx [Cowtuft]