Berrypaw needed a break from skyclan and had bolted from the clan clearing as soon as he saw the chance. He couldn’t take the stress and the flashbacks no, he needed a break from it all. Panting heavily he staggered through the forest occasionally stopping to catch his breath and sometimes just to murmur to himself. Sitting down once more beside a stream he started talking to himself again. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault…wait no it is my fault. If I wasn’t even here maybe mom and dad would still love each other. If I had been the one to die instead of moonpaw maybe mom would be proud. his voice quivered and he collapsed. Tears falling from his eye . I’m tired. I’m so incredibly tired of pretending I’m ok when I’m not ok. I’m exhausted by the clans bickering over everything. I’m tired of myself. he stared at the water flowing by and reached out a paw to place it on the surface. It’s cool gentle flow chilled his paw but it also numbed it. Getting up he padded forward and eased himself into the stream. He was instantly engulfed by the cold chill and he flinched. But he was now numb. But his heart was still hurting and his head wouldn’t stop flashing images before him. Then a single image made his eyes widen. He was being thrusted under water by his father. He was holding him there at least trying to drown berrypaw. Eye widened he released a horrified shriek and struggled to steady himself and climb back to shore.