Deadmind’s goodbye to rage

..... god damn it...
why... why couldn’t I do something?! Anything?! ...
I tried to stop them. They didn’t listen and .. you weren’t yourself. You were mad, crazy tearing up a place we knew as home.. yes somehow.. no something did something to you. They took off the wires that kept you sane and happy like the idiot you were!
Why did you accept?! I was trying to save you! I just wanted you to...
No... I understand why now? It’s because I was stressing about you? Is that it? Or was it because I didn’t have the guts to say it! To say I love you damn it!
Rage i love you! I know I didn’t say it! But I thought you knew!
I let you kiss me! Touch me! I let you hold me when those nightmares come back!
Did you not see it?! Or was I too damn blind..
Was I a fool? Did I do this to you? Did you think that I didn’t love you? That I just thought of you as some toy?!
God damn... now you lay in front of me.. dead. I can’t feel you anymore.. i can’t see that dumb smile! And constant annoying kisses you give me everyday... I can’t live without you. I can’t do this without you... and to think. I let you do it...
rage I knew how much you wanted kids.. how much you loved to have your own.. but what now? I’m alone with a kid that I know is yours ..
but this is my burden to bear. I love you rage..
Good bye my love. A love I couldn’t save... a love I couldn’t heal..
I’m sorry