Innocent Gender (They/them) question

[Ivyfeather]

I'm probably older than most on this site, I'm 22, which might seem weird but I grew up reading warrior cats and it motivated me in a lot of ways and of course I RP'd while reading the books on sites like Zetapets (which isn't a thing anymore! >.<) but anyways, I decided to re-read the books and catch up on all the new ones and found this site. Since exploring and joining in on RP and reading other cats biographies, I've seen that most character biographies have sex, gender, or pronouns which confused me quite a bit. As a human, I'm not against doing your own thing, gay, trans-female, trans-male, cross dresser, whatever, I'm totally okay with it, you do what makes you feel like your body is matching your soul. What confuses me though are the they/them. I began hearing that my senior year of HS and I was so confused and someone told me that its because they don't want to be either gender. And my first response (having a bachelors in health science/going into the medical field) was that "well physically, they've got to be male, female, or both." So in my mind (I'm hetero - married), I'm thinking if someone is genetically a male, go by "he" or if he identifies with a female soul, then go by "she" and visa versa with a genetic female, but I just cannot grasp the idea of neither. Its just a big storm cloud in the front of my brain.

Please understand, that I am trying to educate myself, NOT TRYING TO OFFEND, I promise. No judgement, I'm just trying to understanding people who are different from me.

So...could someone please explain to me in detail why someone would want to be addressed as "they"? Also can you explain the grammar? Normally its "he/she is." and "they are." but if "they" is referring to a single person (assuming mental status is normal), they why am I not seeing people say "they is"?

****Just saw a post where someone's cat pronouns were xe/xer, I've never heard of that, can someone explain what that is, the difference between xe/xer and they/them and how to pronounce it?


Thanks in advance!

[Leaf_tail]

People who identify with "they" might be uncomfortable with the idea of being associated with any gender within the binary. It can be hard to understand if you don't use they/them.

About the grammar piece: "they" can be used as a singular pronoun, and has been for a while! When talking about someone you don't know, for example, you refer to them as "they" but still use "are". I'm not fluent on how exactly it can refer to a singular object but still use "are", but someone can probably explain it. ^^

About xe/xer: It's pronounced "zee/zer", and it's another non-gendered pronoun, like "they/them"! I think the difference between them is simply that they're spelled and said differently, and xe/xer uses "is" instead of "are".

Sorry if I didn't answer everything!

[Ivyfeather]

People who identify with "they" might be uncomfortable with the idea of being associated with any gender within the binary. It can be hard to understand if you don't use they/them.

About the grammar piece: "they" can be used as a singular pronoun, and has been for a while! When talking about someone you don't know, for example, you refer to them as "they" but still use "are". I'm not fluent on how exactly it can refer to a singular object but still use "are", but someone can probably explain it. ^^

About xe/xer: It's pronounced "zee/zer", and it's another non-gendered pronoun, like "they/them"! I think the difference between them is simply that they're spelled and said differently, and xe/xer uses "is" instead of "are".

Sorry if I didn't answer everything!
Oh okay! Thanks that does help!

[Momotaro]

Oh okay! Thanks that does help!
Leag got it down perfectly, and by the way, questions lie these are really good, as it means your open minded and dont mind learning, so props on you :}